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Title: What Never Should Be: Two In The Hand
Chapter 6: A Reluctant Resolution
Author: blucougar57
Summary: Secretive behaviour and a persistent PC creates headaches for Captain Jack as he and Ianto continue working to reinvent Torchwood; and all the while the universe doesn't seem to want to let him forget he was once Torchwood's prisoner...
Rating: Strong T
Warnings: References to past abuse.
Chapter 6
Previous Chapter
A/N: I've left an author's note at the bottom of this chapter, so as to avoid spoilers.
* * *
In the end, Jack saved Constable Gwen Cooper, but was unable to stop Suzie from killing herself. Grief-stricken and barely-functioning (the subsequent headache from being shot in the head did nothing to help, either), Jack had Ianto lock the glove and the knife away in secure storage, whilst he and Owen secured Suzie's body in one of the morgue lockers.
"And what about me?" Gwen asked after Jack had finally sent Tosh and Owen home. She was at once demanding and uncertain. Jack eyed her critically. By his own self-imposed rules, he couldn't retcon her again. There simply was not enough evidence available to know whether multiple doses of retcon might have a negative effect on the recipient, and he wasn't prepared to risk it on anyone, no matter how irritating he found them to be. The real question, therefore, was could she be trusted to keep her mouth shut? It was risky, but Tosh had been right. He couldn't even contemplate locking her up.
"Go home," he told her. "Don't tell anyone about any of this. Do you understand me? Not a soul."
She agreed without argument, probably more due to shock than anything else. Jack then added the proviso.
"Be back here tomorrow night, when you come off duty. I'll have made my decision by then on what to do with you."
He fancied that she paled just a little at the ominous words, but it seemed the implied threat wasn't enough to completely quash her defiance.
"And if I don't?"
He stared down at her intently.
"Do you really want me to have to come after you? Trust me, PC Cooper, there is nowhere you can go where I won't find you."
She left without another word, but Jack felt confident that she would return as ordered. Movement at his side drew his attention, and he sighed as Ianto slipped an arm around his waist.
"Ready to go home?"
"Mm, definitely," Jack said with a relieved sigh. As he turned, his gaze caught the brace on Ianto's arm, and he frowned darkly.
"Minor fracture, as it turns out," Ianto offered by way of reassurance. "Hairline. Owen thinks it'll be fully healed inside a month."
The relief on Jack's face was palpable, and he finally relaxed into a smile.
"Guess you're on desk duty for a while longer, huh?"
Ianto pulled a face. That hadn't occurred to him until now. Jack laughed, not unkindly, and leaned in to sneak a kiss.
"Just means I get to look after you, for once. Now, how about we head home? I'll order in, and we can spend a nice, quiet evening together."
"Sounds good to me," Ianto murmured. "Let's go home, Captain."
* * *
"Jack," Ianto said as Jack helped him to get comfortable on the couch, with the aid of extra cushions. It was sort of adorable, really, the way that Jack was so eager to take care of him.
"What?" Jack asked, frowning a little. "Have I forgotten something?"
"No, love," Ianto murmured. "Just sit with me for a moment. I want to ask you something, and I don't want you getting upset."
Jack's expression shifted minutely, but he nevertheless settled onto the couch beside Ianto.
"You want to ask about Cooper."
Ianto took it as a positive that Jack didn't immediately blow his stack at the mere mention of the woman.
"Yes. I know it all happened very abruptly, and we're still trying to accept it, but it doesn't change the fact that we're a person down now, and you need to decide what to do about Gwen Cooper."
Jack didn't answer immediately, lost in thought. Ianto didn't push. He knew well enough that Jack needed a chance to think the situation through without interference. When he did eventually speak, it was minus the usual taunts and mocking.
"Do you think she's really worth taking a chance on?"
It was the biggest about-face yet that Ianto had seen Jack do. He hesitated in answering, though. Suzie had seemed like a good choice, only for it to backfire on them all spectacularly. The other point was that it didn't matter how worthwhile an addition Gwen Cooper might seem whilst Jack continued to bear animosity towards her simply because of her police connections.
"I thought she might be," Ianto admitted. "Jack, how did she react when you showed Brad to her?"
"She coped okay. Didn't panic, at any rate. Actually, she seemed kind of stunned. It'd probably be more telling to see how she reacted to a weevil that wasn't locked up safely, knowing that it wasn't some bloke in a Halloween mask."
Ianto had to concede to that, but didn't pursue the thought. He didn't fancy giving Jack any ideas about a potential 'baptism of fire' for the woman if, by some miracle, he did change his mind about hiring her.
"And when you told her about Torchwood? I'm assuming that's what you talked about in the pub you took her to?"
Jack snorted.
"She thought we ought to be 'lending our resources' to help the police solve crimes. She threatened to tell her superiors about the glove."
"Okay, a bit of a self-righteous attitude," Ianto murmured, formulating a list in his mind. "What else?"
"They used me for live target practise."
Ianto's mind froze and for a long moment he didn't comprehend what Jack had just said.
"I'm sorry… What?"
Jack looked ill as he spoke, and he kept his gaze fixed very firmly on the ceiling.
"Years back, before Alex Hopkins took over, the person in charge of Torchwood Three loaned me out to the Cardiff Police. They chained me up and a small, select group was allowed to use me for live target practise… You know, so they could get used to killing a person. Except, they weren't exactly encouraged to ain for a quick kill."
Ianto swore softly.
"Cariad, I am so sorry. I had no idea. When did you remember all of this?"
"The night she saw us use the glove in the alley. At least now we know why I hate the sight of the police."
Ianto felt his heart sink. This was far more than just an ingrained dislike of an authority agency. This was a major trauma that would not be easily pushed aside. He didn't bother trying to suggest that Jack remember that Cardiff's current batch of recruits were not responsible for his sufferings. Jack knew that, but it did nothing to lessen the trauma for him.
"We'll give her a heavier dose of retcon tomorrow night," Ianto said. "If need be, I can get her transferred out of Cardiff, so she won't be at risk of breaking the retcon a second time."
Jack sighed softly, though Ianto thought he heard little relief in that sigh.
"Thank you." Jack paused, finally looking at his young lover. "I didn't deliberately keep it from you, Yan, honestly. I really didn't remember it until a few days ago."
Ianto spared Jack a puzzled look.
"I know, sweetheart."
"It's just, I don't want you to think I might be keeping anything from you, because I'm not. I tell you everything, because I love you, and people who love each other don't keep secrets."
In a flash, Ianto realised what Jack was saying. He knew Ianto was keeping something secret, and was giving him the opportunity to come clean – perhaps one last chance to do so before it harmed their relationship.
Ianto let his breath out in a rush. Okay, then…
"I'm sorry," he apologised softly. "I didn't mean to keep this from you. It's not that I didn't want you to know. It's just that I'm confused and a little bit scared, and I just don't know what's going on."
Jack hugged Ianto close, taking care not to jostle his injured arm.
"Talk to me. Tell me what's happened and maybe we can figure it out together."
"When Owen and I faced the Clyreney," Ianto confessed softly, "I was hurt. Badly hurt."
"How badly?"
Ianto braced himself for a negative reaction.
"I honestly thought I was going to die."
Jack tensed against him.
"You were hit with one of those arrows, weren't you?"
"It grazed me, ripped my thigh open. I also took a laser blast in the chest."
Jack was silent, and Ianto waited nervously as he absorbed what he'd just been told.
"But you didn't have a scratch on you," Jack pointed out. "I looked, and there wasn't even any blood."
"That's because I had Owen take me home first. Remember? I told you I was covered in Clyreney blood and I didn't want you to see it and panic. I was covered in Clyreney blood, but there was a fair bit of my own there as well."
"But you weren't hurt!" Jack burst out.
"And that's what frightened me," Ianto told him. "When we left that site, I was bleeding out. I wasn't going to make it back to Cardiff alive. But then… Jack, I healed."
Jack stared at him, torn between shock and disbelief.
"You mean, like me?"
"I guess so, yes."
"Why did you hide it from me?" Jack asked, unable to keep the hurt out of his voice and expression.
"Because I was scared," Ianto said. "I didn't know what was going on. I still don't know. Am I like you now? Or is there some other explanation? Jack… Please try to understand. I love you so much, but I don't want to be immortal."
In the instant before Jack's emotional mask slammed down, Ianto saw a world of hurt in his eyes, and he hated himself for it.
"I understand."
"Jack…"
"We can call the Doctor and he'll be able to tell. He'll know if you've become like me, just by looking at you."
"Jack, sweetheart…"
"Because I get why you wouldn't want to be like me. I don't want to be like me…"
Ianto leaned in and silenced Jack with a fierce kiss.
"Stop that," Ianto murmured against Jack's lips. "Now, I didn't say that to hurt you. God knows the last thing I want is to hurt you, but we promised to be honest with each other, right?" Jack mumbled something incoherent under his breath and Ianto suppressed an urge to smile. "The truth is, I wish I could say that I commit to you for the rest of my life, and know that would be enough. It breaks my heart to know that it isn't."
"You really don't think you're like me, though," Jack said tremulously.
"No. I think there's something happening here that needs to be investigated, but I don't think it's that I've been granted immortality alongside you"
Jack risked a glance at Ianto.
"Would… Would you hate me if you were? Like me, I mean."
"Cariad, no," Ianto assured him. "No, of course I wouldn't hate you. If it did turn out that that's what's happened, then we'll work through it, but I really don't think it's the case and I'm certainly not going to tempt fate to find out. Tomorrow, after we've dealt with PC Cooper, we'll call the Doctor together and find out what's going on."
"Okay," Jack whispered. They sat together in silence for a while before Ianto spoke.
"Will you be all right?"
Jack uttered a faint whimper and rubbed agitatedly at his temples.
"My head hurts, Yan."
It was a deflection from what had become an uncomfortable conversation, and they both knew it. Ianto didn't call him on it, though. He knew Jack was deeply upset, and bullying him into talking would do neither of them any good.
"Would you like me to run a bath for you?"
Jack looked hopefully at him.
"With bubbles?"
Ianto smiled fondly.
"Yes, sweetheart, with bubbles."
* * *
Somewhere, in the midst of Jack's internal warring to suppress his childish tendencies in favour of a more mature adult persona, one quirk had escaped unscathed and that was Jack's innocent joy in having a bubble bath. While Ianto sat by the foot of the large tub, Jack splashed happily without any embarrassment or self-consciousness. It didn't seem to matter how bad the day might have been. Put Jack in a bath with plenty of frothy bubbles, and he instantly reverted back to his inner child.
The sight of Jack so carefree never failed to put a smile on Ianto's face, and this was no exception. Really, the only thing missing from the scene was the stereotypical rubber ducky. Ianto couldn't resist a low chuckle as Jack blew into the bubbles, only to end up with them all over his face.
"Bleugh," Jack spat, after opening his mouth at the wrong moment.
"I thought you would have realised by now that they don't taste very nice," Ianto teased. Jack pulled a face, accepting the clean washcloth that Ianto offered him.
"Didn't mean to do that. Yan, do you remember the first time you gave me a bubble bath?"
"I remember. I'm sorry for frightening you that day. When I think back on it, I'm lucky you didn't attack me out of panic."
Jack shook his head.
"I wouldn't have hurt you, no matter how scared I was. You'd already shown you were trying to help me. I understood that much, at least."
Ianto moved to sit carefully on the edge of the bathtub, and accepted Jack's outstretched hand without hesitation.
"What's going through your mind, cariad?" Ianto asked.
"We've been through a lot," Jack said slowly. "We've made mistakes... me, more than you."
"We're not keeping score, sweetheart."
Jack grunted unintelligibly. Sighing, Ianto ruffled Jack's hair a little. His earlier exuberance had resulted in soap getting into his hair. It would need to be washed out. Ianto couldn't help but wonder whether maybe it had been a deliberate ploy on Jack's part. It was almost obscene, how much the man liked having his hair washed.
"We need sleep, love," Ianto suggested gently. "Neither one of us is thinking particularly clearly."
"I was lonely," Jack said abruptly. Ianto blinked. That was the second time in as many hours that Jack had caught him off-guard with an out-of-the-blue statement.
"I'm sorry, Jack," Ianto apologised. "I don't know what you mean."
"Before you came along, I was lonely," Jack confessed. "Before you, the only person who treated me like a human was Alex Hopkins. Aside from him..."
"I know," Ianto murmured, sensing a fresh onslaught of emotions from Jack.
"When we were hiding in Jackie's home," Jack went on, "when I kept begging you not to leave, I wasn't just asking you to stay around... you know, like we are now. I wanted you to stay with me forever, because you make me not feel lonely anymore. And I know it's selfish and I shouldn't wish for it, but I do because I love you and I don't ever want to lose you!"
Both men were crying before they realised it, and Ianto leaned down to wrap his good arm around Jack's shoulders.
"I'm sorry, Yan," Jack sobbed. "But when you told me, I couldn't help it. I thought maybe, just maybe, I'd got my wish."
Ianto kissed the top of Jack's head, heedless of the soapy taste.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, sweetheart. I promise you that I'll give you as long as possible. It just won't be forever."
Jack rested his head on Ianto's thigh.
"I should just focus on here and now," he murmured sadly. Ianto stroked his fingers lightly over Jack's temple. His heart broke for Jack, but there was little comfort he could offer. They sat in companionable silence for a while, and Ianto was about to suggest that Jack vacate the steadily cooling water when Jack spoke again.
"I suppose we could put her on a trial basis, and retcon her if she doesn't work out."
Ianto's breath caught.
"You're talking about Cooper?"
Jack nodded.
"Mm."
"Dare I ask why the change of heart?"
"Well, you accepted it when I brought in Owen, and then Suzie. You argued a bit, but you accepted it and trusted my judgement. You haven't said 'I told you so' yet, either, over Suzie."
"I wouldn't do that," Ianto assured him.
"And believe me, I appreciate it. The point I'm trying to make is that you trusted me. I should trust you as well. If you really think this woman will make a good addition to the team, then I'm willing to give her a chance."
Ianto kissed Jack tenderly.
"Thank you, Jack. That's all I'm asking."
* * *
Jack half-expected Cooper not to turn up the next evening but, to her credit, she was there as promised. She looked justifiably scared, Jack mused, but also defiant. He wasn't sure whether that impressed him, or just irritated him.
With a slight nod to Ianto, he then escorted her to the best place he could think of where they could talk in absolute private – the roof of the Millennium Centre.
"Bloody hell," Gwen huffed as she paused to regain her equilibrium after a long climb up a somewhat rickety ladder. "You don't come up here very often, do you?"
Jack gazed up at the darkening sky. It was going to be a gorgeous, clear night, perfect for lying under the skylight with Ianto, watching the stars and talking quietly about all the incredible things that humans had to look forward to in the future.
"I like rooftops," he said finally, simply. "The higher, the better. Not scared, are you?"
He couldn't keep a slightly taunting tone out of his voice. Beside him, Gwen snorted.
"Only if you're planning to toss me off it."
A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. One point to her for a good come-back.
"No," he assured her. "All else aside, Ianto hates it when I make unnecessary messes."
The slightly black humour was lost on her.
"I saw you," she said, her voice betraying her confusion and distress. "I saw you get shot in the head and then get back up like nothing happened."
Now that retcon was off the agenda, at least for the time being, he decided there was no point in trying to cover his tracks. Regardless, to deny it at this stage would seem awfully hypocritical in his own eyes given that he'd already forced her to confront the truth of what she'd seen in the alley.
"I can't die," he said simply. If anything, the stress showing on the woman's face got worse.
"Okay."
Jack bristled just a little. It should as though she'd decided he was a loon, and she was just trying to humour him until she could make her escape.
"But I can't," he insisted, acutely aware that he was at risk of descending into a tantrum. "Something happened a long time ago, far away from here. I was killed and something brought me back. Now, I can't die."
She finally seemed to accept it, to his relief.
"You didn't tell the others. Toshiko or Owen."
Jack looked down sharply at her. Was she really assuming that just because they hadn't been there to witness it, that Tosh and Owen didn't know? It seemed that was the very assumption she was making. And why was she overlooking Ianto?
As she finally lifted her gaze to meet his critical stare, Jack made a split second decision to let her keep thinking that she was the only one who knew the truth about him. It was the perfect opportunity to test her ability to keep her mouth shut. If she blabbed to anyone, even her fellow teammates, he would know she couldn't be trusted and she'd be retconned back to puberty.
"I find it best not to tell people," he answered vaguely. "They tend to freak out."
Which was true, given the way that Gwen had suffered a minor breakdown the previous night. He conceded that she'd recovered much quicker than expected, but she'd still had a minor meltdown. A melodramatic sigh brought him back to the present.
"What does it matter?" she said with an air of resignation that, in his opinion, was a little overdone. "You're just going to take my memories again."
"Now why would I do that?"
He was mocking her again, though she seemed to completely miss the inflection in his tone, instead giving him a withering look. Jack suppressed a desire to disregard the agreement he'd made with Ianto, and just shove the woman off the roof. He would not, under any circumstances, be emotionally blackmailed, but he was also prepared to give the woman a tiny degree of leeway, given that the circumstances of the employment that was about to be on offer were markedly different to any of her potential new colleagues. Really, she didn't have a clue.
"We have a job going spare," he told her. "Do you want it?"
She looked incredulous, an expression that Jack took some comfort in. She wasn't taking anything for granted, at least. That was one positive in her favour.
"Why me?"
Convenience, he wanted to say. Ianto's many lessons about manners had stuck fast, though, and he refrained from being openly rude.
"Because you were right," he conceded with some reluctance. "Maybe we can do more to help."
She had no idea how patronising he was really being. Ianto, however, would know and given that Jack was sure he was listening in, he fully expected to get an earful later at home.
"So," he said, "are you interested?"
He wanted an answer quickly, so he could go home and cuddle with his Ianto on the rug under the skylight. He was pleased and grateful when she didn't delay in answering.
"Yes," she said abruptly. "Yeah, I am."
Jack fought an urge to sigh again. He'd half-wished that she would have said no, but it was no real surprise that she'd said yes. He glanced down at her surreptitiously, and took in the slightly overwhelmed but still determined look on her face.
He'd promised Ianto that he would give her a chance, and he would. At the same time, though, he would watching her like a hawk – in more ways than one. He and Ianto had already tapped all of her and her boyfriend's phones, and Toshiko had hacked the home computers, enabling them to monitor and, if necessary, intercept any incriminating evidence. For at least the next six months, everything Gwen Cooper did or said would be strictly monitored.
Whether she would work out, he didn't know, but he owed it to Ianto to let her try. What happened from here on, only time would tell.
* * *
Fin.
A/N: A lot of readers were hoping I would kill off Gwen in this chapter. I hope you don't feel too disappointed, but keep in mind - I have my own nefarious purposes in keeping her around.
Chapter 6: A Reluctant Resolution
Author: blucougar57
Summary: Secretive behaviour and a persistent PC creates headaches for Captain Jack as he and Ianto continue working to reinvent Torchwood; and all the while the universe doesn't seem to want to let him forget he was once Torchwood's prisoner...
Rating: Strong T
Warnings: References to past abuse.
Previous Chapter
A/N: I've left an author's note at the bottom of this chapter, so as to avoid spoilers.
In the end, Jack saved Constable Gwen Cooper, but was unable to stop Suzie from killing herself. Grief-stricken and barely-functioning (the subsequent headache from being shot in the head did nothing to help, either), Jack had Ianto lock the glove and the knife away in secure storage, whilst he and Owen secured Suzie's body in one of the morgue lockers.
"And what about me?" Gwen asked after Jack had finally sent Tosh and Owen home. She was at once demanding and uncertain. Jack eyed her critically. By his own self-imposed rules, he couldn't retcon her again. There simply was not enough evidence available to know whether multiple doses of retcon might have a negative effect on the recipient, and he wasn't prepared to risk it on anyone, no matter how irritating he found them to be. The real question, therefore, was could she be trusted to keep her mouth shut? It was risky, but Tosh had been right. He couldn't even contemplate locking her up.
"Go home," he told her. "Don't tell anyone about any of this. Do you understand me? Not a soul."
She agreed without argument, probably more due to shock than anything else. Jack then added the proviso.
"Be back here tomorrow night, when you come off duty. I'll have made my decision by then on what to do with you."
He fancied that she paled just a little at the ominous words, but it seemed the implied threat wasn't enough to completely quash her defiance.
"And if I don't?"
He stared down at her intently.
"Do you really want me to have to come after you? Trust me, PC Cooper, there is nowhere you can go where I won't find you."
She left without another word, but Jack felt confident that she would return as ordered. Movement at his side drew his attention, and he sighed as Ianto slipped an arm around his waist.
"Ready to go home?"
"Mm, definitely," Jack said with a relieved sigh. As he turned, his gaze caught the brace on Ianto's arm, and he frowned darkly.
"Minor fracture, as it turns out," Ianto offered by way of reassurance. "Hairline. Owen thinks it'll be fully healed inside a month."
The relief on Jack's face was palpable, and he finally relaxed into a smile.
"Guess you're on desk duty for a while longer, huh?"
Ianto pulled a face. That hadn't occurred to him until now. Jack laughed, not unkindly, and leaned in to sneak a kiss.
"Just means I get to look after you, for once. Now, how about we head home? I'll order in, and we can spend a nice, quiet evening together."
"Sounds good to me," Ianto murmured. "Let's go home, Captain."
"Jack," Ianto said as Jack helped him to get comfortable on the couch, with the aid of extra cushions. It was sort of adorable, really, the way that Jack was so eager to take care of him.
"What?" Jack asked, frowning a little. "Have I forgotten something?"
"No, love," Ianto murmured. "Just sit with me for a moment. I want to ask you something, and I don't want you getting upset."
Jack's expression shifted minutely, but he nevertheless settled onto the couch beside Ianto.
"You want to ask about Cooper."
Ianto took it as a positive that Jack didn't immediately blow his stack at the mere mention of the woman.
"Yes. I know it all happened very abruptly, and we're still trying to accept it, but it doesn't change the fact that we're a person down now, and you need to decide what to do about Gwen Cooper."
Jack didn't answer immediately, lost in thought. Ianto didn't push. He knew well enough that Jack needed a chance to think the situation through without interference. When he did eventually speak, it was minus the usual taunts and mocking.
"Do you think she's really worth taking a chance on?"
It was the biggest about-face yet that Ianto had seen Jack do. He hesitated in answering, though. Suzie had seemed like a good choice, only for it to backfire on them all spectacularly. The other point was that it didn't matter how worthwhile an addition Gwen Cooper might seem whilst Jack continued to bear animosity towards her simply because of her police connections.
"I thought she might be," Ianto admitted. "Jack, how did she react when you showed Brad to her?"
"She coped okay. Didn't panic, at any rate. Actually, she seemed kind of stunned. It'd probably be more telling to see how she reacted to a weevil that wasn't locked up safely, knowing that it wasn't some bloke in a Halloween mask."
Ianto had to concede to that, but didn't pursue the thought. He didn't fancy giving Jack any ideas about a potential 'baptism of fire' for the woman if, by some miracle, he did change his mind about hiring her.
"And when you told her about Torchwood? I'm assuming that's what you talked about in the pub you took her to?"
Jack snorted.
"She thought we ought to be 'lending our resources' to help the police solve crimes. She threatened to tell her superiors about the glove."
"Okay, a bit of a self-righteous attitude," Ianto murmured, formulating a list in his mind. "What else?"
"They used me for live target practise."
Ianto's mind froze and for a long moment he didn't comprehend what Jack had just said.
"I'm sorry… What?"
Jack looked ill as he spoke, and he kept his gaze fixed very firmly on the ceiling.
"Years back, before Alex Hopkins took over, the person in charge of Torchwood Three loaned me out to the Cardiff Police. They chained me up and a small, select group was allowed to use me for live target practise… You know, so they could get used to killing a person. Except, they weren't exactly encouraged to ain for a quick kill."
Ianto swore softly.
"Cariad, I am so sorry. I had no idea. When did you remember all of this?"
"The night she saw us use the glove in the alley. At least now we know why I hate the sight of the police."
Ianto felt his heart sink. This was far more than just an ingrained dislike of an authority agency. This was a major trauma that would not be easily pushed aside. He didn't bother trying to suggest that Jack remember that Cardiff's current batch of recruits were not responsible for his sufferings. Jack knew that, but it did nothing to lessen the trauma for him.
"We'll give her a heavier dose of retcon tomorrow night," Ianto said. "If need be, I can get her transferred out of Cardiff, so she won't be at risk of breaking the retcon a second time."
Jack sighed softly, though Ianto thought he heard little relief in that sigh.
"Thank you." Jack paused, finally looking at his young lover. "I didn't deliberately keep it from you, Yan, honestly. I really didn't remember it until a few days ago."
Ianto spared Jack a puzzled look.
"I know, sweetheart."
"It's just, I don't want you to think I might be keeping anything from you, because I'm not. I tell you everything, because I love you, and people who love each other don't keep secrets."
In a flash, Ianto realised what Jack was saying. He knew Ianto was keeping something secret, and was giving him the opportunity to come clean – perhaps one last chance to do so before it harmed their relationship.
Ianto let his breath out in a rush. Okay, then…
"I'm sorry," he apologised softly. "I didn't mean to keep this from you. It's not that I didn't want you to know. It's just that I'm confused and a little bit scared, and I just don't know what's going on."
Jack hugged Ianto close, taking care not to jostle his injured arm.
"Talk to me. Tell me what's happened and maybe we can figure it out together."
"When Owen and I faced the Clyreney," Ianto confessed softly, "I was hurt. Badly hurt."
"How badly?"
Ianto braced himself for a negative reaction.
"I honestly thought I was going to die."
Jack tensed against him.
"You were hit with one of those arrows, weren't you?"
"It grazed me, ripped my thigh open. I also took a laser blast in the chest."
Jack was silent, and Ianto waited nervously as he absorbed what he'd just been told.
"But you didn't have a scratch on you," Jack pointed out. "I looked, and there wasn't even any blood."
"That's because I had Owen take me home first. Remember? I told you I was covered in Clyreney blood and I didn't want you to see it and panic. I was covered in Clyreney blood, but there was a fair bit of my own there as well."
"But you weren't hurt!" Jack burst out.
"And that's what frightened me," Ianto told him. "When we left that site, I was bleeding out. I wasn't going to make it back to Cardiff alive. But then… Jack, I healed."
Jack stared at him, torn between shock and disbelief.
"You mean, like me?"
"I guess so, yes."
"Why did you hide it from me?" Jack asked, unable to keep the hurt out of his voice and expression.
"Because I was scared," Ianto said. "I didn't know what was going on. I still don't know. Am I like you now? Or is there some other explanation? Jack… Please try to understand. I love you so much, but I don't want to be immortal."
In the instant before Jack's emotional mask slammed down, Ianto saw a world of hurt in his eyes, and he hated himself for it.
"I understand."
"Jack…"
"We can call the Doctor and he'll be able to tell. He'll know if you've become like me, just by looking at you."
"Jack, sweetheart…"
"Because I get why you wouldn't want to be like me. I don't want to be like me…"
Ianto leaned in and silenced Jack with a fierce kiss.
"Stop that," Ianto murmured against Jack's lips. "Now, I didn't say that to hurt you. God knows the last thing I want is to hurt you, but we promised to be honest with each other, right?" Jack mumbled something incoherent under his breath and Ianto suppressed an urge to smile. "The truth is, I wish I could say that I commit to you for the rest of my life, and know that would be enough. It breaks my heart to know that it isn't."
"You really don't think you're like me, though," Jack said tremulously.
"No. I think there's something happening here that needs to be investigated, but I don't think it's that I've been granted immortality alongside you"
Jack risked a glance at Ianto.
"Would… Would you hate me if you were? Like me, I mean."
"Cariad, no," Ianto assured him. "No, of course I wouldn't hate you. If it did turn out that that's what's happened, then we'll work through it, but I really don't think it's the case and I'm certainly not going to tempt fate to find out. Tomorrow, after we've dealt with PC Cooper, we'll call the Doctor together and find out what's going on."
"Okay," Jack whispered. They sat together in silence for a while before Ianto spoke.
"Will you be all right?"
Jack uttered a faint whimper and rubbed agitatedly at his temples.
"My head hurts, Yan."
It was a deflection from what had become an uncomfortable conversation, and they both knew it. Ianto didn't call him on it, though. He knew Jack was deeply upset, and bullying him into talking would do neither of them any good.
"Would you like me to run a bath for you?"
Jack looked hopefully at him.
"With bubbles?"
Ianto smiled fondly.
"Yes, sweetheart, with bubbles."
Somewhere, in the midst of Jack's internal warring to suppress his childish tendencies in favour of a more mature adult persona, one quirk had escaped unscathed and that was Jack's innocent joy in having a bubble bath. While Ianto sat by the foot of the large tub, Jack splashed happily without any embarrassment or self-consciousness. It didn't seem to matter how bad the day might have been. Put Jack in a bath with plenty of frothy bubbles, and he instantly reverted back to his inner child.
The sight of Jack so carefree never failed to put a smile on Ianto's face, and this was no exception. Really, the only thing missing from the scene was the stereotypical rubber ducky. Ianto couldn't resist a low chuckle as Jack blew into the bubbles, only to end up with them all over his face.
"Bleugh," Jack spat, after opening his mouth at the wrong moment.
"I thought you would have realised by now that they don't taste very nice," Ianto teased. Jack pulled a face, accepting the clean washcloth that Ianto offered him.
"Didn't mean to do that. Yan, do you remember the first time you gave me a bubble bath?"
"I remember. I'm sorry for frightening you that day. When I think back on it, I'm lucky you didn't attack me out of panic."
Jack shook his head.
"I wouldn't have hurt you, no matter how scared I was. You'd already shown you were trying to help me. I understood that much, at least."
Ianto moved to sit carefully on the edge of the bathtub, and accepted Jack's outstretched hand without hesitation.
"What's going through your mind, cariad?" Ianto asked.
"We've been through a lot," Jack said slowly. "We've made mistakes... me, more than you."
"We're not keeping score, sweetheart."
Jack grunted unintelligibly. Sighing, Ianto ruffled Jack's hair a little. His earlier exuberance had resulted in soap getting into his hair. It would need to be washed out. Ianto couldn't help but wonder whether maybe it had been a deliberate ploy on Jack's part. It was almost obscene, how much the man liked having his hair washed.
"We need sleep, love," Ianto suggested gently. "Neither one of us is thinking particularly clearly."
"I was lonely," Jack said abruptly. Ianto blinked. That was the second time in as many hours that Jack had caught him off-guard with an out-of-the-blue statement.
"I'm sorry, Jack," Ianto apologised. "I don't know what you mean."
"Before you came along, I was lonely," Jack confessed. "Before you, the only person who treated me like a human was Alex Hopkins. Aside from him..."
"I know," Ianto murmured, sensing a fresh onslaught of emotions from Jack.
"When we were hiding in Jackie's home," Jack went on, "when I kept begging you not to leave, I wasn't just asking you to stay around... you know, like we are now. I wanted you to stay with me forever, because you make me not feel lonely anymore. And I know it's selfish and I shouldn't wish for it, but I do because I love you and I don't ever want to lose you!"
Both men were crying before they realised it, and Ianto leaned down to wrap his good arm around Jack's shoulders.
"I'm sorry, Yan," Jack sobbed. "But when you told me, I couldn't help it. I thought maybe, just maybe, I'd got my wish."
Ianto kissed the top of Jack's head, heedless of the soapy taste.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, sweetheart. I promise you that I'll give you as long as possible. It just won't be forever."
Jack rested his head on Ianto's thigh.
"I should just focus on here and now," he murmured sadly. Ianto stroked his fingers lightly over Jack's temple. His heart broke for Jack, but there was little comfort he could offer. They sat in companionable silence for a while, and Ianto was about to suggest that Jack vacate the steadily cooling water when Jack spoke again.
"I suppose we could put her on a trial basis, and retcon her if she doesn't work out."
Ianto's breath caught.
"You're talking about Cooper?"
Jack nodded.
"Mm."
"Dare I ask why the change of heart?"
"Well, you accepted it when I brought in Owen, and then Suzie. You argued a bit, but you accepted it and trusted my judgement. You haven't said 'I told you so' yet, either, over Suzie."
"I wouldn't do that," Ianto assured him.
"And believe me, I appreciate it. The point I'm trying to make is that you trusted me. I should trust you as well. If you really think this woman will make a good addition to the team, then I'm willing to give her a chance."
Ianto kissed Jack tenderly.
"Thank you, Jack. That's all I'm asking."
Jack half-expected Cooper not to turn up the next evening but, to her credit, she was there as promised. She looked justifiably scared, Jack mused, but also defiant. He wasn't sure whether that impressed him, or just irritated him.
With a slight nod to Ianto, he then escorted her to the best place he could think of where they could talk in absolute private – the roof of the Millennium Centre.
"Bloody hell," Gwen huffed as she paused to regain her equilibrium after a long climb up a somewhat rickety ladder. "You don't come up here very often, do you?"
Jack gazed up at the darkening sky. It was going to be a gorgeous, clear night, perfect for lying under the skylight with Ianto, watching the stars and talking quietly about all the incredible things that humans had to look forward to in the future.
"I like rooftops," he said finally, simply. "The higher, the better. Not scared, are you?"
He couldn't keep a slightly taunting tone out of his voice. Beside him, Gwen snorted.
"Only if you're planning to toss me off it."
A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. One point to her for a good come-back.
"No," he assured her. "All else aside, Ianto hates it when I make unnecessary messes."
The slightly black humour was lost on her.
"I saw you," she said, her voice betraying her confusion and distress. "I saw you get shot in the head and then get back up like nothing happened."
Now that retcon was off the agenda, at least for the time being, he decided there was no point in trying to cover his tracks. Regardless, to deny it at this stage would seem awfully hypocritical in his own eyes given that he'd already forced her to confront the truth of what she'd seen in the alley.
"I can't die," he said simply. If anything, the stress showing on the woman's face got worse.
"Okay."
Jack bristled just a little. It should as though she'd decided he was a loon, and she was just trying to humour him until she could make her escape.
"But I can't," he insisted, acutely aware that he was at risk of descending into a tantrum. "Something happened a long time ago, far away from here. I was killed and something brought me back. Now, I can't die."
She finally seemed to accept it, to his relief.
"You didn't tell the others. Toshiko or Owen."
Jack looked down sharply at her. Was she really assuming that just because they hadn't been there to witness it, that Tosh and Owen didn't know? It seemed that was the very assumption she was making. And why was she overlooking Ianto?
As she finally lifted her gaze to meet his critical stare, Jack made a split second decision to let her keep thinking that she was the only one who knew the truth about him. It was the perfect opportunity to test her ability to keep her mouth shut. If she blabbed to anyone, even her fellow teammates, he would know she couldn't be trusted and she'd be retconned back to puberty.
"I find it best not to tell people," he answered vaguely. "They tend to freak out."
Which was true, given the way that Gwen had suffered a minor breakdown the previous night. He conceded that she'd recovered much quicker than expected, but she'd still had a minor meltdown. A melodramatic sigh brought him back to the present.
"What does it matter?" she said with an air of resignation that, in his opinion, was a little overdone. "You're just going to take my memories again."
"Now why would I do that?"
He was mocking her again, though she seemed to completely miss the inflection in his tone, instead giving him a withering look. Jack suppressed a desire to disregard the agreement he'd made with Ianto, and just shove the woman off the roof. He would not, under any circumstances, be emotionally blackmailed, but he was also prepared to give the woman a tiny degree of leeway, given that the circumstances of the employment that was about to be on offer were markedly different to any of her potential new colleagues. Really, she didn't have a clue.
"We have a job going spare," he told her. "Do you want it?"
She looked incredulous, an expression that Jack took some comfort in. She wasn't taking anything for granted, at least. That was one positive in her favour.
"Why me?"
Convenience, he wanted to say. Ianto's many lessons about manners had stuck fast, though, and he refrained from being openly rude.
"Because you were right," he conceded with some reluctance. "Maybe we can do more to help."
She had no idea how patronising he was really being. Ianto, however, would know and given that Jack was sure he was listening in, he fully expected to get an earful later at home.
"So," he said, "are you interested?"
He wanted an answer quickly, so he could go home and cuddle with his Ianto on the rug under the skylight. He was pleased and grateful when she didn't delay in answering.
"Yes," she said abruptly. "Yeah, I am."
Jack fought an urge to sigh again. He'd half-wished that she would have said no, but it was no real surprise that she'd said yes. He glanced down at her surreptitiously, and took in the slightly overwhelmed but still determined look on her face.
He'd promised Ianto that he would give her a chance, and he would. At the same time, though, he would watching her like a hawk – in more ways than one. He and Ianto had already tapped all of her and her boyfriend's phones, and Toshiko had hacked the home computers, enabling them to monitor and, if necessary, intercept any incriminating evidence. For at least the next six months, everything Gwen Cooper did or said would be strictly monitored.
Whether she would work out, he didn't know, but he owed it to Ianto to let her try. What happened from here on, only time would tell.
Fin.
A/N: A lot of readers were hoping I would kill off Gwen in this chapter. I hope you don't feel too disappointed, but keep in mind - I have my own nefarious purposes in keeping her around.
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Hopefully Gwen gets the message that a) Ianto is second in command, and b) Jack is with Ianto this time.
More soon?
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She will get the message... I just can't guarantee how quickly it'll sink in. I plan on portraying Gwen as she is in the actual TV series - ie, oblivious and self-absorbed with a borderline irritating morality. The difference here is that there is no one in the team who will pander to her ideas of self-importance.
I hope to have the first chapter of the next story posted next weekend. It's written - I just need to find time to type it up.
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He's still the Jack from What Never Should Be but has blossomed into much more. I love how now even though he's making his own decisions he's still looking to Ianto for approval. He's still vulnerable and childlike but manages to hide that from everyone but Ianto.
I cannot wait for the next story in this verse!
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I just loved this chapter. Poor Jack, and poor Ianto...I just feel bad for them both. I can't wait to see what the Doctor has to say about Ianto's ability to heal. I do get the feeling he's not like Jack, but hopefully this means he'll get to spend more time with Jack than he would have before this happened?
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so in this world ianto was the deciding factor to hire gwen. hope it doesn't come back to bite both he and and jack on the butt?
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I like that Jack accepts the responsibility that comes with his role as the leader. And I'm glad that Ianto is there to support him. This is one of the most reassuring portrayal of Jack and Ianto' relationship I've read. They are changing, the relationship changing, it develops and evolves but at every step it is as sweet and profound as it was, but a bit better.
I'm curious what you'll do with Gwen. I't obvious (in canon) that she is terribly unqualified for such work - how she can be useful for this Torchwood? I suppose long and meticulous training is needed.
And of course I'm curious about Ianto' condition. For their both sake I hope he'll be able to share his life with Jack for a very long time.
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I was mentally trying to send Jack some 'helpful' advice when he told Gwen that Ianto hated it when he made unnecessary messes, as I really think you have to look closely at just exactly what constitutes "unnecessary". After reading your a/n at the end, however, I happily bow to your expertise as a writer and wait patiently to see what you have in store for her.
I especially love this part of your a/n:
"The difference here is that there is no one in the team who will pander to her ideas of self-importance."
Thank you!!!
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My favorite scene was Jack taking the bubble bath. It's good there is something which gives him simple joy and he's been able to retain his child-like persona in one part of his life.
Great update.
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My randon question is that I thought you wrote a future fic from the WNSB 'verse where Gwen was sure that Jack wanted her cause he flirted with her and Ianto and Jack together set her down. Or am I imagining this?
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And no, you're not imagining it. What you're thinking of is a segment of fic that I posted to the AGA, as a preview of what was to come in this particular 'verse - and a reassurance that Gwen was not going to be treated like the be-all-and-end-all that she's been allowed to think she is in the actual show.
That snippet of fic will most likely turn up in my *very* alternative version of "Cyberwoman".
Gwen is not going to be the lost cause she is in the show, but she is still highly prone to making foolish assumptions that will get her into much trouble with Jack....
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Thanks for writing it,
Sam
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Another fantastic chapter :)